


who would i be if i had not loved you?

by rocklees



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post Oculus, len is already dead in this, this is literally just angst im truly sorry fkldsfsdjf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 07:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11375469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocklees/pseuds/rocklees
Summary: [Based off the Falsettos song 'What Would I Do?']Mick opens up to Len about his feelings regarding his sacrifice.





	who would i be if i had not loved you?

It was another night without Len - without his best friend, partner, lover.

Mick took a swig of his beer, finishing the rest of the drink and slamming the bottle on the table he was currently sitting at. He questioned why he was still with the Legends team without Len, since it was Len’s brilliant idea in the first place. He didn’t have a place with the team without his partner.

“You know why you’re still here Mick,” he heard Len’s voice answer.

Mick groaned, “Now I’m hearing shit? Great.” He stood to get another beer, turning only to meet Len standing in front of him.

“Jesus Christ!” Mick yelled, stumbling back a few steps. “The fuck? You’re supposed to be dead!”

“I’m surprised you aren’t dead yet, with how you’ve been acting lately,” Len said, sitting in the chair next to Mick’s. Mick stared in shock and suspicion. He slowly sat back down in his chair, eyes never leaving Len.

“You’re gonna drink yourself to death Mick,” Len said, motioning to the bottles on the table.

“Yeah, well you don’t get a say in this since you went and blew yourself up.” Mick glanced at the bottles, looking anywhere but at the man in front of him now. Mick knew it was impossible that it was his Len in front of him, knew it was too good to be really happening to him.

“I did die for _you_ , y’know. I think I get a say in this,” Len drawled, clear irritation in his tone.

“No, _you_ don’t. I didn’t ask you to go get yourself blown up! It was supposed to be me!” Mick shouted, slamming a fist on the table while doing so.

“So that’s what this is about?” Len asked with a sigh.

Mick took a deep breath, running a hand over his face. He wasn’t completely sure why he was even having this conversation with a ghost or whatever it was of Len that was sitting in front of him.

“Just go, would ya? Leave me alone.”

Silence filled the room for a minute, going on two. Mick kept his hand over his eyes, thumb massaging circles into his temple. He was starting to assume that Len’s figure actually listened to his request and left him.

“Do you regret it? Joining this team with me?”

Mick huffed out a laugh at Len's question. His hand dropped and he moved his gaze to Len’s face. Mick wouldn’t admit it to anyone but he was starting to forget small details about him. Where certain moles were, where certain scars were placed. Small details that meant the world to Mick, that he didn’t want to lose.

“I’d do it again,” Mick muttered, knowing he would always join Len anywhere.

Len’s lips curled into a small smile, resembling a smirk more than anything.

“I told you once I’d follow you anywhere and I meant it. Look what that got me,” Mick said.

“Mick-”

“No. Just stop, you don’t get it. I’d beg and steal or borrow for you, just to be with you for an hour more,” Mick grumbled to himself, gaze dropping to the floor.

“Sounds like the alcohol talking,” Len said, Mick laughing in response.

“Shut it frosty, I’m tryin to be honest here,” Mick said, a laugh clear in his tone.

“By all means, continue,” Len said, a full smirk upon his face.

Mick considered stopping the conversation, he wasn’t even completely sure why he was still talking to who he knew couldn’t be _his_ Len.

The words he was thinking came out before he could fully think through his options. “I dunno what I would do if you hadn’t been my friend Len,” Mick said, staring at his best friend.

Len’s smirk shifted into a smile, then he laughed softly. Len stood, staring at Mick for a few seconds more before heading to the door.

“Hey, wait! Where are you goin?” Mick jumped from his chair, his chest feeling heavy. He knew this Len wasn’t real, but watching him leave felt like he was losing his lover all over again.

Len stopped in front of the door, glancing over his shoulder towards Mick. “If it helps, I don’t know what I would do either Mick, if you hadn’t been my friend.”  
  


Mick woke up with a gasp, quickly sitting up in bed. He was sweating, bed sheets wet with evidence of that. Mick glanced around, disoriented from the heavy dream he had.

“What the fuck,” Mick said, voice rough and raspy. He ran a hand over his face, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He grabbed Len's ring from the side table and squeezed the ring in his hand, giving himself something to focus on while calming himself down.

It wasn’t the first dream Mick’s had involving Len, but it was one of the most upsetting he’s had.

Mick laid back down, twirling Len’s ring between his fingers. He stared at the ring, playing through what he could remember of his dream.

One question stuck out to him from the entire dream.

Mick slowly placed the ring on his finger while speaking the question that he knew he would never be able to answer. “What would I do, if you had not been my friend?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for checking this out! i hope it wasn't too angst filled lfkjsdkf  
> contact me @ my tumblr! url is jewishleonardsnart.


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